A few years ago, a random boy age 20, goes around twitter to get to know girls, using the twitter platform. And there were a few that he approached who were my girls (the youths that i was taking care of).. I then made myself “visible” to this boy. He wrote to me about taaruf (getting to know one another) and meeting his parents and getting married.
What triggered me to confront him was, he went around twitter messaging girls with the same questions and the same approach AT THE SAME TIME.
He used islamic phrases, he used the hadith, and it was all in a wrong way that i felt i had to stop all this before he hurt one of my girls. He was giving false hopes that was coated with sweet islamic gestures online. I didn’t feel good about it and wanted to stop this person from potentially hurting my girls.
I approached my girls and asked if he said the same thing to them just like he did to me, and they said yes he did. I was so mad that i told him off. I said to him that he has no right to go around and play with the girls’ feelings. He told me that he was not doing anything and that i was lying. And that i have spread “fitnah” about him. Basically he was playing victim. He started the tweeting about me adn talk badly about me to others.
i instantly blocked him on social medias and told my girls to do the same too. But some of them have fallen for his word and turned their backs on me. I was disheartened that they trusted someone who is just “famous” on twitter rather than me who was trying to protect them. The last thing i wanted to do was hurt others. Yet, i was being blamed for slandering him while in actual fact,he was the one who preyed on the vulnerable and fragile girls.
A few years have passed, and i have forgotten about the incident. I decided to move on and let other people assume bad things about me. I chose to ignore the negativity and move forward. Little did i know the boy, was watching my every move.
It was a Saturday and i was working with a group of people visiting a few places to search for the perfect venue for a convention. I was also preparing my speech for a talk that i was invited to at a mosque with an Ustazah and a counsellor. I received 2 missed calls during that time and it was an unknown number. I didn’t return the call because i was too busy working. A whatsapp message came in saying “I know that you will give a talk at a mosque and i am going to make sure that the Ustazah that you will be partnering with who is my cousin, will not attend to give a talk together with you. I will make sure your event will fail”
I looked at the watsapp profile picture and instantly recognised the person behind the threat. I replied “That is not my event. I am invited to speak, i didn’t organise it. If you have a problem with me speaking together with that Ustazah, you can approach the mosque yourself.” He said a few things after and told me to stop spreading fitnah about him. I told him it was years ago and i have already forgotten about the incident. And even highlighted to him that i was not spreading slanders or fitnah on him, he was the one who went around telling people bad things about me. Also, it was his fault that he got caught by me when he wanted to get to know the girls at the same time and promised to marry them. He approached them through chats and created lies so that the girls will fall for him.
He was fuming in anger but before anything got worse, i blocked his number and calls. You see, this boy, he was studying the deen,studying the religion. The type of boy that goes to islamic classes, who wears a thobe and a serban and tweets about god and the prophet. It was disturbing that he equipped himself with everything to be a good muslim and preach about islam yet not doing the most basic thing of all. Which is to walk the talk.
After being threatened by him, I approached my best friend and confide in her. I cried and told her that i wanted to backout from the talk. At that point of time i was letting his words get to my head. My best friend said this to me,
“There will be more people like him who will threaten you because you were doing the right thing. You were brave enough back then to protect your girls. You back away from everything after being blamed for spreading slanders about that boy. When in fact, you were telling the truth. Allah knows, and he will be accountable for it. You do not need others to believe what you say. You do not need the support like he had form his followers on twitters. You just need Allah”
Tears couldn’t stop streaming down my face after listening to what my best friend said. That night, i made a prayer to seek forgiveness from Allah. I asked Allah to give me peace in my heart and mind and to not let what others perception of me became an issue to my body and soul. I told myself that Allah knows everything and that He will protect me.
I am sharing this story to remind everyone that sometimes, doing the right thing may have the world turn their backs against you. Doing the right thing will make you lose some friends, people will see you as the bad guy for protecting what you love. And that is okay because as long as Allah knows your good intentions, and your niyyah is to protect those you love, other people opinions about you do not matter.
There are still rumours going around about me and it mostly came from the group of guys who are on the boy’s side. I will pray for them and May Allah guide them to the right path. May Allah have mercy on them on the day of judgement. They will have to find me in Mahsyar for the things that they have said about me.
But for now, i have forgiven them and i have forgiven the boy. May Allah protect me and you from this kind of person and if we ever encounter one like him, May Allah steady our hearts to have sabr and deal with the issue with mercy and kindness.