Abused No More

Dear Muslimah,

It's amazing that an organization recently did a whole day event to give support to those who are being abused at home by their spouses or family members or anyone. Thank you for creating such awareness. Thank you May Allah reward you. And here is my story.

I was a victim. Abused in ways that you can think about. I won't talk about it openly, but if you need support, u need advise, im here for you.

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I went through everything alone, i only had Allah with me. I kept it a secret to my family members at that point of time because i didnt want to burden them with my problems.

During my 4th pregnancy, i went through a series of post natal depression together with the emotional and mental abuse.

It's never easy to get over and move on with series of stress and downfalls/ I held on to that abusive person so dearly because I wanted to be "happy" and just wanted to be "loved"

One night, it was after Isya' prayer i just wanted to find peace. I searched for the Quraan and recited Surah Yassin. A pillow was thrown to me, "Bila nak habes?" the person said.

As I was still on my sejadah, i breathe in i made a doa so hard so sincere that i can feel my heart bleeding and begging to Allah and I said "Save me. I want to be on the right path"

And weeks later, I finally gained the courage to fight through. I didnt consult anyone at all when I wanted to make that big decision. I consulted and finds comfort in only HIM because only HE knows what was really happening

And Allah just ease every single thing. I remember going out early in the morning to go to the clinic, to the court, to the police station and sort everything out within a day, after 23 hours out and about, I was super tired, I wanted to give up but then I said no, I can't I have to push my limit. And finally I attained Personal Protection Order against that person and months later i gained my freedom and that was when I started to seekhelp through counseling.

Darul Aman was the masjid I went to for the first time after years of not stepping in for prayers. And now you know why that Darul Aman has a special place in my heart.

I have really close friends who helped me financially and emotionally to just go through that day (im really thankful for them). At times when I feel like giving up, i will go back to that day and tell myself," if you can survive that, you can survive anything because you have Allah. You just need to slow down and figure things out"

And when I finally learn to forgive that person, slowly healing, I used my experience and started a mission. A mission to help build youths and to be there for anyone, especially girls and women who are going through tough times. To reach out to them. As I am also a mother, I portray some of my motherly vibes to the youths and they often see me as a kakak and as a mother at the same time. I didn't let my status of a single mother of 4 become a reason for me not to give back to the community. My kids are still my top priority, Allah knows how busy I am with my crazy schedule. And all this is to be able to just find HIS redha and I want to "work" so hard just to gaze upon HIM one day and say look Allah I 've made it. :')

I HOPE MY STORY WILL HELP YOU SEE HOW ALLAH HAVE PLANNED OUT EVERYTHING PERFECTLY AND HOW HE GIVES STRENGTHS THROUGH HARDSHIPS AND THAT BEHIND EVERYTHING THERE IS A BEAUTIFUL HIKMAH HIDDEN IN EVERY PAIN THAT YOU ARE FEELING RIGHT NOW