With All This Pain, I Submit To HIM

Whenever we talk about pain and hurt, we will tend to vision ourselves on how we used to be. 

We will relive the darkest episodes of our lives, at times we will shed or even cry buckets of tears.

We are human beings and healing takes longer than just a night of crying. Everyone can feel pain and sadness.  Rasulullah was no exception. He felt the most hurt than any of us during his days of prophethood. 

But he taught us that being in pain and at the state of hurt is not because we deserve it but because Allah wants to elevate our imaan and that Allah loves us.

I felt pain a long time ago through an abusive marriage. No one knew i was in pain because i didnt show signs of unhappiness. One day, i couldn’t take it anymore and took action.

It was not an easy decision, i have thought long and hard about it.

I would often feel depress as the weight of the world fell on my shoulders. People would be mocking me and blaming me for my divorce.

They would side my ex husband, they would say things that could hurt me and it was never ending. I asked Allah for help because this pain, was too much for me to handle. With HIS MERCY, he turned my heart and my actions towards my faith, towards the deen.

With all this pain, i submit to HIM. I told Allah to forgive me for my mistakes, to take me near HIM. And He did.  I believe my pain had a purpose. Allah wanted me to create something beautiful out of this pain.

So i turned it into a platform reaching out to other ladies, a platform of heart to heart sessions called Standby Tissue. And the rest was history.

If you are going through hurt and pain right now, i want you to take a moment to continue reading as i share on how you can confront your emotions. I want you to know that i am here for you and you are not alone and this is temporary.

There are 3 things that we need to learn from our darkest moment. We need to A.C.T on it.

A- Acknowledge. 

We need to acknowledge our feelings. Face our feelings and do not ignore it. Cry if you must, write it in a journal, take that time to accept your feelings. This way, you are facing your grieve,your sadness, your anger heads on. When we do this, not only are we confronting our feelings, we are also avoiding future melt downs and breakdowns. We cannot deny our feelings as this will haunt us in the future and it will affect our daily lives.

C-Choose

After accepting and facing your own emotions, you need to choose to live beyond that pain. Don’t let the pain drown you and bring you down.

You have to choose to live beyond the hurt that you are feeling by finding happiness in little things. Find happiness in the things you are passionate about, find happiness in your love ones,find happiness in the air that you breathe, find happiness at the sight of beautiful sunsets, the creation that Allah have created for us is not merely a decoration for the dunya, but it is for us to find happiness in it. Allah knows we work, how our body and our heart functions.

He creates happiness around us that we took for granted for. So choose to live beyond the hurt and find happiness in little things dear you.

T-Turn

Turn your pain,hurt and your experience you have  into a source of tool that can create a masterpiece. Use your experience, to help others, use your experience to inspire others to live pass their pain.

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When you turn something negative into a positive outcome, not only will you benefit other people, but you will help heal the scars inside you. This may take some time but it’s alright. One step at a time.

There is no rush in doing this dear you. One step at a time, slowly but surely. I believe you can do this, at every step of the way, you will find family and friends who will support you during this process.

I need you to believe that everything bad or good that has ever happened to you, is only to make you stronger,wiser and happier. Allah will never test you beyond your limits. You have to believe that HE only wants you to be better in life. HE changes the path that you were on to the right path so that you will not stay lost and misguided. Oh how He loves you,He loves us.

Last but not least, dear you, i want you to start forgiving the people who have hurt you. Not because they deserve forgiveness, but because you deserve peace. You deserve to attain a peace of mind after the hurt and pain.

By forgiving them, you will leave everything behind and step forward to be a better person than before. When forgiving others, take a moment to forgive yourself. Forgive yourself for the times you let others step on you,bully you and take advantage of you.

Forgive yourself for the times that you almost give up on your life.

Now, live your life for Allah, find your real purpose and always remember this

“To those who have hurt me, you neither my friend nor my foe. You are more than that and only Allah knows”

Take care dear you, I believe you can do this. Allah love you and whenever you feel alone and not love by anyone, know that Allah is there,for HE is always near

Betrayed

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Dear Muslimah,

Don't fall for sweet nothings. Don't fall for men who wears jubah and serban.

Don't fall for them when they say Wallahi you deserve nothing but the best and I want to spend the rest of my life with you.

Don't fall for men who works under islamic line or islamic anything. Don't fall for their words when they preach.

Because all of this are traps. They are traps that were meant for us.

The sisters who easily fall for the "clean white jubah and serban look"

The sisters who easily fall for "wallahi i want to get married to you"

The sisters who easily fall for "Assalamualaikum ya ukhti"

I know not all men are like that.

But this is a reminder from me the experience ones who hold on to promises because some of them should know the hukum hakam of not fulfilling up to their promises.

Promise me will you? Just don't fall for their outer layers of themselves. A serban and a jubah should be worn with pride because of their love towards Rasulullah.

And we should not fall for the things they wear.

Promise me will you ? Don't let words and words of promises that they said, disappoint you when they started to disappear within a few mths or weeks or days.

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Words if not followed by actions are just alphabets being spelled out and words if not followed by actions are meant to hurt you because u put hope onto something that was uncertain.

Promise me will you? Don't fall for their jobscopes because even if they worked under islamic sector, ustaz of any kind or even burying the dead, they are humans too. They have flaws. Just like you and me. Dont fall for their jobscopes. 
I respect everyone who is working under islamic sector but im doing my part as a sister to remind other sisters who falls many times in this kind of traps.

Lastly, dear muslimah, fall for yourself everyday,love yourself and appreciate everything that Allah have given you. Sometimes Allah sends this ppl to us is to see if we are changing to be better for Allah or are we changing to be better for them.

And when Allah loves you; HE will bring your crazy love head that was in the air back down to the ground sobbing on the sajadah in your prayers and shows you what real true love is. And once you have Allah in your heart, real men will seek you thru Him and He will ease everything for both of you.

Your part is to pray pray pray and abide by all HIS rules and make Quraan as asbab that will heal you. Practice Sunnah and always remember the amazing wives of Rasulullah, his daughter Saidatina Fatima, so that you will learn to be like them. Have parts of their qualities. Make them your role models

I end my post with a reminder that not all men are like this and a quote that i've posted before
"Istilah jaga diri itu sgt mendalam. Dear Muslimah, please jaga diri"

Forgive me for a sensitive post but i've been through many cases like this. If you think this can benefit another sister, do share. No permission needed.❤

A Villain In The White Thobe

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A few years ago, a random boy age 20, goes around twitter to get to know girls, using the twitter platform. And there were a few that he approached who were my girls (the youths that i was taking care of).. I then made myself “visible” to this boy. He wrote to me about taaruf (getting to know one another) and meeting his parents and getting married.

What triggered me to confront him was, he went around twitter messaging girls with the same questions and the same approach AT THE SAME TIME.

He used islamic phrases, he used the hadith, and it was all in a wrong way that i felt i had to stop all this before he hurt one of my girls. He was giving false hopes that was coated with sweet islamic gestures online. I didn’t feel good about it and wanted to stop this person from potentially hurting my girls.

I approached my girls and asked if he said the same thing to them just like he did to me, and they said yes he did. I was so mad that i told him off. I said to him that he has no right to go around and play with the girls’ feelings. He told me that he was not doing anything and that i was lying. And that i have spread “fitnah” about him. Basically he was playing victim. He started the tweeting about me adn talk badly about me to others.

i instantly blocked him on social medias and told my girls to do the same too. But some of them have fallen for his word and turned their backs on me. I was disheartened that they trusted someone who is just “famous” on twitter rather than me who was trying to protect them. The last thing i wanted to do was hurt others. Yet, i was being blamed for slandering him while in actual fact,he was the one who preyed on the vulnerable and fragile girls.

A few years have passed, and i have forgotten about the incident. I decided to move on and let other people assume bad things about me. I chose to ignore the negativity and move forward. Little did i know the boy, was watching my every move.

It was a Saturday and i was working with a group of people visiting a few places to search for the perfect venue for a convention. I was also preparing my speech for a talk that i was invited to at a mosque with an Ustazah and a counsellor. I received 2 missed calls during that time and it was an unknown number. I didn’t return the call because i was too busy working. A whatsapp message came in saying “I know that you will give a talk at a mosque and i am going to make sure that the Ustazah that you will be partnering with who is my cousin, will not attend to give a talk together with you. I will make sure your event will fail”

I looked at the watsapp profile picture and instantly recognised the person behind the threat. I replied “That is not my event. I am invited to speak, i didn’t organise it. If you have a problem with me speaking together with that Ustazah, you can approach the mosque yourself.” He said a few things after and told me to stop spreading fitnah about him. I told him it was years ago and i have already forgotten about the incident. And even highlighted to him that i was not spreading slanders or fitnah on him, he was the one who went around telling people bad things about me. Also, it was his fault that he got caught by me when he wanted to get to know the girls at the same time and promised to marry them. He approached them through chats and created lies so that the girls will fall for him.

He was fuming in anger but before anything got worse, i blocked his number and calls. You see, this boy, he was studying the deen,studying the religion. The type of boy that goes to islamic classes, who wears a thobe and a serban and tweets about god and the prophet. It was disturbing that he equipped himself with everything to be a good muslim and preach about islam yet not doing the most basic thing of all. Which is to walk the talk.

After being threatened by him, I approached my best friend and confide in her. I cried and told her that i wanted to backout from the talk. At that point of time i was letting his words get to my head. My best friend said this to me,

“There will be more people like him who will threaten you because you were doing the right thing. You were brave enough back then to protect your girls. You back away from everything after being blamed for spreading slanders about that boy. When in fact, you were telling the truth. Allah knows, and he will be accountable for it. You do not need others to believe what you say. You do not need the support like he had form his followers on twitters. You just need Allah”

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Tears couldn’t stop streaming down my face after listening to what my best friend said. That night, i made a prayer to seek forgiveness from Allah. I asked Allah to give me peace in my heart and mind and to not let what others perception of me became an issue to my body and soul. I told myself that Allah knows everything and that He will protect me.

I am sharing this story to remind everyone that sometimes, doing the right thing may have the world turn their backs against you. Doing the right thing will make you lose some friends, people will see you as the bad guy for protecting what you love. And that is okay because as long as Allah knows your good intentions, and your niyyah is to protect those you love, other people opinions about you do not matter.

There are still rumours going around about me and it mostly came from the group of guys who are on the boy’s side. I will pray for them and May Allah guide them to the right path. May Allah have mercy on them on the day of judgement. They will have to find me in Mahsyar for the things that they have said about me.

But for now, i have forgiven them and i have forgiven the boy. May Allah protect me and you from this kind of person and if we ever encounter one like him, May Allah steady our hearts to have sabr and deal with the issue with mercy and kindness.

Amin

To Be Beautiful

Dear Muslimah,

To be beautiful, it is not define but what society wants you to be. To be beautiful, is what it means to live with a beating heart.

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For every beauty is seen differently by a naked eye, the shoes that makes someone else prettier, doesn't necessarily fits you. The eye makeup that is painted on the crease of other woman's eyes doesn't necessarily suits you either

HE created you beautiful in a way that other human beings cannot see beyond their naked eye. They only have one tool to see your beauty. And that is their heart.

Your beauty lingers along the lines of the wrinkles and scars. Your beauty lingers along the lips and mouth that utters only good words that heals others.

Your beauty clings on to your humbleness

Your beauty clings on to your feet that steps forward to help others.

You don't need anyone else to reassure you that you are beautiful. You ARE beautiful. If some men or women says otherwise, that is because they don't know you. They don't see the beauty in imperfection. They don't see your beautiful heart that beats for HIM


So go on wipe that tears away and push those low self esteems to the corner. Stand up and look at yourself.

See how that smile shines through.Every bit of you is beauty in HIS eyes because HE created the most Masha Allah panoramic view you have ever seen and one of it is YOU.




Oh Allah, Forgive Me

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There will be moments, that will make you happy and there will be moments that will make you sad. Both moments are equally Allah’s creations and Allah’s way in preparing us for what is to come in the future.

We tend to only see our happiness as blessings from above, but little did we appreciate the hardships that Allah have blessed upon us. Allah have created challenges and trials in our lives not because we are bad creations but He wants us to learn and be better Muslims.

Even Rasulullah was tested in many ways, and his trials are even more challenging than many of us, does it mean that Allah does not love him?

Imagine trillion of humans in this dunia yet Allah have chosen some of us to go through a set of difficulties and His rewards is even better than what this dune can hold. Believe that Allah will reward us with a beautiful hikmah, an unexpected rezqi and happiness the we could ever imagine after this challenging times

For you, who are going through hard times, i know how difficult it is to believe that what you are experiencing now is not permanent. But trust me, dear you, it will be over soon.

All you need to do now is to make plenty of doa and rely on HIM, for HE is the Most Beneficent and The Most Merciful.

Abused No More

Dear Muslimah,

It's amazing that an organization recently did a whole day event to give support to those who are being abused at home by their spouses or family members or anyone. Thank you for creating such awareness. Thank you May Allah reward you. And here is my story.

I was a victim. Abused in ways that you can think about. I won't talk about it openly, but if you need support, u need advise, im here for you.

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I went through everything alone, i only had Allah with me. I kept it a secret to my family members at that point of time because i didnt want to burden them with my problems.

During my 4th pregnancy, i went through a series of post natal depression together with the emotional and mental abuse.

It's never easy to get over and move on with series of stress and downfalls/ I held on to that abusive person so dearly because I wanted to be "happy" and just wanted to be "loved"

One night, it was after Isya' prayer i just wanted to find peace. I searched for the Quraan and recited Surah Yassin. A pillow was thrown to me, "Bila nak habes?" the person said.

As I was still on my sejadah, i breathe in i made a doa so hard so sincere that i can feel my heart bleeding and begging to Allah and I said "Save me. I want to be on the right path"

And weeks later, I finally gained the courage to fight through. I didnt consult anyone at all when I wanted to make that big decision. I consulted and finds comfort in only HIM because only HE knows what was really happening

And Allah just ease every single thing. I remember going out early in the morning to go to the clinic, to the court, to the police station and sort everything out within a day, after 23 hours out and about, I was super tired, I wanted to give up but then I said no, I can't I have to push my limit. And finally I attained Personal Protection Order against that person and months later i gained my freedom and that was when I started to seekhelp through counseling.

Darul Aman was the masjid I went to for the first time after years of not stepping in for prayers. And now you know why that Darul Aman has a special place in my heart.

I have really close friends who helped me financially and emotionally to just go through that day (im really thankful for them). At times when I feel like giving up, i will go back to that day and tell myself," if you can survive that, you can survive anything because you have Allah. You just need to slow down and figure things out"

And when I finally learn to forgive that person, slowly healing, I used my experience and started a mission. A mission to help build youths and to be there for anyone, especially girls and women who are going through tough times. To reach out to them. As I am also a mother, I portray some of my motherly vibes to the youths and they often see me as a kakak and as a mother at the same time. I didn't let my status of a single mother of 4 become a reason for me not to give back to the community. My kids are still my top priority, Allah knows how busy I am with my crazy schedule. And all this is to be able to just find HIS redha and I want to "work" so hard just to gaze upon HIM one day and say look Allah I 've made it. :')

I HOPE MY STORY WILL HELP YOU SEE HOW ALLAH HAVE PLANNED OUT EVERYTHING PERFECTLY AND HOW HE GIVES STRENGTHS THROUGH HARDSHIPS AND THAT BEHIND EVERYTHING THERE IS A BEAUTIFUL HIKMAH HIDDEN IN EVERY PAIN THAT YOU ARE FEELING RIGHT NOW

Armoured With Kindness

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Dear Muslimah

For everything you have been through, never change the way you are just because of how cruel ppl have mistreat you. Let them be that way. You're not that, you're just not that.

You are sensitive towards ppl feelings, you are kind and even more kind to your enemies. You are strong in your will but your heart is not hard. You love everyone who comes and go because they make you learn and experience tough times to be where you are now.

You put up walls but there is an entrance door and you give away the keys to who you think deserve it to let them in. Because you just don't know how to be cruel and to hate ppl. It is not in you. You are not taught that way. 
You tried to curse and hurt, you tried but all that came out was doa and cries asking forgiveness from Allah and ask Allah to forgive them.

You are happy for their happiness eventhough they hate you because you loved them and who says love needs to be 2?
One love towards another and you never get anything in return but oh how you could tell them that " i love you not for you"

You smile to them as they smirk at you thinking you are crazy. You are hurt inside but all you know is to mend it by making others happy.
For everyone that comes and go, you may be a friend or a foe but you will never let them kill your kindness that is within you.

Not many knows you the way you do, but Allah knows and He lets a certain soul see through your soul for He created you in pairs but maybe it isnt you and him. Passing life and time you both were meant to reach a higher purpose maybe not now but there will be a reason behind it

And you say this to those who have the keys to the door within the walls that you've built around your heart "For those that sees my soul, you are neither my friend nor my foe you are more than that and only Allah knows"

You Deserve To Try

Dear Muslimah,

No matter what you do, no matter where you are, no matter what happens, always go back to your prayers. Solat. Even if you missed it, don't let that guilt makes you delay on going back to your prayers.

No matter how bad you think you are, you deserve to try. 
You deserve to try to improve yourself. Even if it is only one step at a time.

In this dunya, you will be tested with so many things and with so many people.

You may have all the BFFs , you may have all the cousins, the family members who love you and will be there for you.

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But nothing in this world stays forever, everyone leaves at some point of time, only Allah stays with you.

And even if later on in life, you are lost and alone feeling scared, you will always have Allah by your side.

So don't forget your prayers and if you missed it, always recover it. Hold on to it, like the ropes that will pull you up when you are down.

You will be alright. 💟💗

The Last Breath

Dear Muslimah,

What if one day, you wake up and you find yourself not being you. What if you are left with only your soul and nothing more. Your body is just a thing and nothing more than that. Your clothes, your makeup, your braces, your fake lashes, your niqab, your purdah, your jubah , your abaya, your high heels, your certs, your money means nothing at all.

Whoever you are, it will come to you one day. And what if that day is today?

Death comes unexpectedly, unknowingly, you thought that you are only in your teens, or in you twenties and it is impossible but death still comes at you ignoring your age.

There is a quote by someone and it says " Life would ask Death, why does everyone love me but hates you? And death would reply Because you are a beautiful lie and I am the painful truth"

Life it gives you so many hopes and at times it tricks you that you will live forever when deep inside you, you know that one day death will come knocking.

I am not trying to scare you but have you ever thought about death? What have you prepare for yourself? What did you do to attain a "good death" ? What have you pack for yourself to meet Allah?

I'm pretty sure we all have that voice at the back of our head saying ,"No I'm not ready, it can't be today right? Allah knows I'm not ready to die" 
So when will you ever be ready?
If you are reading this now, this is a reminder for you to prepare yourself for death.

Since everyone have "Life Goals" let's list down our
"Death Goals". How do you want to die? You want to die while your aurat is properly covered ? Do you want to die when you are in the club?
Do you want to die doing bad things or good things? 
Do you want to die after saying something bad to your parents or do you want to die when your parents are happy with you?

I know we can't plan our death but lets just say you can, don't you want Allah to take you in a state that you are "ready"?
You want death to invite you when you are doing good because atleast you know at the end of your life, you live it well and have done your best to please Allah.

One of the things that I will do to myself to remind me that death can come anytime, I will read the news because in a day, so many unexpected things can happen in every part of the world, and I will tend to ask myself, what if that's me? What will I do when Allah take me in that state?

Secondly, I will read or hear lectures about the azab kubur.
My late dad, he has a different parenting techniques, than most dad. Everyday,he used to leave for work and I will rarely watch TV in the morning. So he opened up a recording of scary things such as death at times the topic is about Qiyamah and then there will be re enactment of voice of a person being scared alone in the grave and in the recording the narrator describing every single thing, about how he is being wrapped too tight, how he have never feel so lonely, how painful is the sakaratul maut..and the list goes on.

Scary isn't it? And I was only 3. I still remember how I was always crying because I was scared to die in a state when Allah is unhappy with me. At only 3, my dad surely pressures me. He always emphasise on doing solat on time and how I needed to be able to read the quraan and he always ends the day with "Nanti kat kubur siapa nak tolong Nur kalau bukan all the things you do?" Nope I didn't get it at that time, but I was still super scared when he said that.

My late dad, he was already ill when he got married with my mum, so he was reminded of death everyday, he wanted me to learn that death is the truth, it will come and will never miss a person. And at 4 when Allah took him away from me, I was ready, because he prepared me for it. May Allah bless his soul and accept his amalan and the sacrifices he made for his family. Ameen.

It's good to scare yourself to let your ego down to cry and to strip off every inch of arrogance in you. It will help you to remind yourself that you are nothing in this world if you do not prepare yourself properly for death, We all have a responsibility to live our life well, yes it is a must, but we often forget that we also have the responsibility to die in a state of Islam, in a state when Allah is please with us,

Fight with your nafs till the very end to always become a better person, not for anyone else but to always improve yourself so that when death comes, you have done well to live your life. Look at the sky, look at the moon, look at everything around you, all this will end but you may not have the chance to look upon all this because Allah have blessed you with an early death before the Qiyamah.

Go to classes, pengurusan jenazah courses, go to majlis reminding you of Rasulullah and learn about him, learn his sirah and how he passed on, when you learn about death, you will see life differently and you will embrace and thank Allah for all the nikmat you were given.

Tonight, there's a show on Suria and it is on death, maybe that will give u a head start of everything, and may Allah bless those people who tries to break through dakwah through that show.

~Can I ask a favour? Recite Al Fatihah for my dad and slip in his name in your doa will you please?. 
His name is MD BAYAZID BIN JUNID .

Thank you everyone. :")

A Twist Of Fate

Dear Muslimah,

A twist of fate is not fictional. It exist.
A twist of fate is takdir that was written in the Luh Mahfuz. 
It caught us by surprise because we didn't know it was going to happen, we didnt't know how our story goes, who we will meet, or when we are going to die.
We cannot see our future neither can we see what is coming to us.

I have a cousin, he was good looking, he was strong, he was taught to treat everyone with respect. He is that cousin, who entertains my kids, during his NS years, he was there for me when he got to know i was going through a divorce. He encourage me and advise me, he is someone who i respected for his knowledge in Islam. He is the one who teaches my boys to perform solat.

Last 2 years,he got married and I was so happy for him. All our family loves him because he deserves all the happiness.
A few months after he got married, something happened to him. To cut the story short, he was diagnosed with blood clog that interferes with his nerves in his brain, which he has to go through a 7 hours of surgery. It happens so fast, that it was too unexpected for all of us. I remembered at that point of time, i was handling a Youth Boys Camp, with the youths. It was the 2nd night of the camp when i got the news.

I wanted to leave the camp, but I was tied to a responsibility. And because my cousin lives in Johor with his family, there is nothing i can do. My mum texted me that night and asked me to make doa for him as he went through the surgery.
I cried that night away from my youths as I didnt want them to see me sad. I pretend nothing happen but I couldn't sleep even after a tiring day.

Soon after, the next day my mum updated me on his condition and he had to go through several surgeries and procedures. Till a news broke, he was in a coma for about 3 days. When he finally woke up, he couldn't move, he was paralised and he could only move his eyes and nothing more.

It broke us into pieces, but his wife is super strong, she was pregnant with their first when this happen. Me and the rest of our family, all the cousins, aunts and uncles went to visit him in JB hospital. At that time, the kids were with their dad, and as I looked at him, in the hospital, I can't help but cry. He wanted to communicate with me, I can see so much pain in his eyes. In his hands, there is a cloth that he often hold when he is in pain.I remember saying to him, "Kau kuat, kau akan go through this, sebab anak kau nak tgk kau. You are going to be okay." His tears welled up and he blinked his eyes to respond to what i was saying.

No one at that point of time can hold their tears, we had to pretend to be strong in front of him. But as soon as we went out, we cried our hearts out, we were asking so many questions, on how this could happen and we realized that, it was written and we have to accept this and believe that all this is to cleanse his sins in dunya.

His wife till now, she is always there. She changed his diapers, she sticks to him, she talked to him, she encourage and motivates him. She took care of their son Umar. She gave their child that name because he wanted to. It is his favorite sahabah of Rasulullah.

I can see now why that name is blessed upon his son. Umar will be the strength of his family. Till now, my cousin is still unable to move. However he has made progress and he is out of the hospital to be taken care of by his family.

It is amazing that his wife have so much strength in her, their love is definitely being tested, their commitment, their sabr, everything is being tested. Umar is close to 5 months old now, and I made doa that Allah will protect and strengthen their bonds till Jannah. My cousin who used to be healthy is now lying in bed not moving, Allah test him in those ways because Allah knows that he can cope with it.

At the end of it all Allah have written everything for us. Appreciate the little things we can do before it is taken away from us. Be thankful for the things you can eat, the easiness to clear your bladder, the movement of your fingers, little things like this. Allah can take it anytime and we are his slave, we are powerless, we are nothing in this world without Allah.

So if you have done something wrong, apologize even if it is rejected. Khidmat your parents while you still can. Take care of your health because it is an amanah to you. Appreciate everyone around you. Do as many amalan , chase as many knowledge,do what you love, but most importantly, please Allah first.

Im crying while typing this on my laptop, because it is a wakeup call for me when that happen. That is why i do not hate those who hurt me, because i want them to be forgiven as much as i want others to forgive me when i hurt them knowingly or unknowingly.
Our life is a story that has beginnings, climax, endings, it has it all. We can never run from it, we can never avoid it, but we can push through it, we can strive to be better.

I end my post by asking a favour to make doa for Syed Md Adnin Bin Md Jamil. May Allah heal him, may Allah grant his wife strength when she needs it most, May Umar bin Syed Md Adnin grows up to be a good person just like his dad.

 

Goals-Tak-Menjadi

Dear Muslimah,

It is a brand new week, brand new day and it is soon going to be a new month .


Despite not achieving all the goals that we have set, we know that we have gone through so many things this year that changes us to be who we are now.
The goals and plans that we have,may not be achieve yet not because we do not strive for it but life happens, Allah have better plans

Do not be sad, disappointed when you have failed yourself, or if you think you have wasted a whole year. I am sure that most of us have not plan to screw up most of the days this year through bad decisions. We have to believe that they are not failures but more of a choice that we make to make us learn and experience life as it is.

Whether you are married early this yr then getting a divorce within this year, or you were pregnant but you lost your child the same year, you have loved ones who were alive early this yr but they passed on, or you were in love with a person who wanted to marry you but he ended up getting married with someone else, we didn't plan any of this to happen but trust me dear muslimah, Allah plans this only to reroute it to our main goal.

Everyone of us made a doa and ask something from Allah, we didn't know if it is granted or not because we tend to look at the negative side of things when things we plan didn't go our way. Right? We lack the beauty of understanding the definition of how trials that comes to us leads to a better purpose because we often take it as it is. We didn't take our time to analyze the whole situation.

A divorce or a separation may be good or even a mercy from Allah when it happens because that person may not be the one you have asked for. You wanted someone who can guide you well towards Allah, you wanted a good guy, and when Allah separates him from you, Allah knows he is not good for you.

When Allah take away your loved ones through death, it is only because their time is over in Dunya and Allah wants to take them back to make them rest from the cruelty of Dunya, and to always remind you that one day you will be taken back to Him.

Every death that you see ,every funeral, it should wake you up from within, it is to tell your soul that it doesn't belong here. Cleanse them, feed them with knowledge and amalan. It was a reminder from Allah for you to work harder to find his redha before death comes, And there are many many who were dead wished that they could solat more or do more good deeds to increase their pahala. But they were too late.

For everything that you have lost, for everything that you have not achieve, have faith that something better awaits you. See the bigger picture. Don't just see why it happen or who did it, but see that Allah is behind everything that happens in your life.

Everyday is a chance to be better, everyday is a choice to be thankful, every experience be it good or bad, is a path of happiness and contentment. It is not the time or year that defines your success but how you cope with the things that fails you, defines your success. When you work hard, Allah sees everything, and if it didn't go as plan, it's because that it is not what Allah plans, and if only you knew how He plans your life, you will not question Him.

Remember dear muslimah, Allah loves you and everything that He do is for you to get closer to Him. He didn't want you to lose to Shaytan, He wants you to win in dunya for akhirah.

Don't lose yourself, don't beat yourself up with self blaming, don't be sad, live well, wipe those tears, it is time to rise again and be beautiful and amazing in the eyes of Allah

The Unseen

Dear Muslimah,

Feelings, they are unseen but they are not to be played with

How can someone leave you without saying anything after months of getting to know them and even planned for marriage?

When they see you as "not their type" they distant from you slowly, they reply your msgs late. They don't talk about marriage anymore. They decided to block you on all social medias.

Don't they have a heart? Have they lost their humanity? Why do they think that the unseen like the feelings, do not need to be acknowledge?

Why do we allow such person to hurt us that way?

And when he disappears, your kind heart forgives him. You swallow your pride and let him get away with it. Because you do not want to force a person to stay. You do not want to beg or burden him with love.

You have a principal in life that you hold on to. When a person is forced to love you that is when you leave. When a person do not like you, you won't put up a fight to stay, because it takes two to tango. It takes two to hold on to the ropes, but when one let go, there is no point of holding on.

One day, Allah showed you why he was not meant to be with you. Allah showed you that he has preyed on other women. The same place that he used to bring you, the same words and promises, the same jokes, the same pickuplines, the same hope he gives, he used it to prey on other girls,other women, because he've lost it, he likes this games.

You pity him and made doa that Allah will change him. And all this girls remained silent because they thought they are doing a guy a favour to cover the things that he have done.

Ladies! He don't deserve your pity because he keeps on going and moving on to another girl till one day he gets caught.

And no one knows the things he do, because he is the perfect one among the family, he is the best buddy among his friends and he is the boss's best friend.
It's sad but it's true, he was only cruel to you and the girls after you, the girl before you, and the list goes on.

You loved him but so did the other girls. He is not worthy of your love. Move on because when you finally shift your heart to something greater than loving a man, you love the one who created that love.

Allah puts you into this test,breaks your heart for you to come back to Him,to show you that this person exist. Allah will heal you through friends who will influence you to be better and that is when you promise your heart that you will never love someone so easily, you will never do anything in the name of love, you will only abide by HIM and one day, He will reward you for your brokenness, because you deserve a better love and this time, it will be from HIM.

To All Mothers

Dear Muslimah,

Being a mother, is one of the things that most women wants to achieve.
Some are blessed with many children, but some are blessed with children in Jannah.

Being a mother, is the biggest responsibility that Allah have blessed upon us. It is a start of a journey for a new human being. It is where they learn most of the things. And mothers are often the ones who will be at home, guiding, teaching, and giving full attention to this being.

Being a mother, is juggling chores, work, and everything else but the most importantly being a mother is to be the first university, the first madrasah, the first heart that a child would graduate from in their early childhood.

It is because of the qualities of the selfless act, the biggest heart, the sacrifices, that Allah have blessed upon a mother, that makes a child grows up to be who they are.

For every labour pains, for every scars, for every challenges that a mother goes through, it is because of the tremendous love towards their children. It is because they believe that Allah will grant them Jannah, and every difficulties that they have faced, nothing can compare to the reward that Allah will give them

Dear Muslimah, when you become a mother, you are responsible to teach and guide your kids to be a good muslim, to put in knowledge, to guide them and train them to have good akhlak.

It is important for us to teach them manners,especially when we are the ummah of akhir zaman where everyone is cruel to one another, we should be mothers who teach our children kindness and empathy, manners in respecting the elderly, speak only the truth, not to be rude even when a person is rude to them. We should teach them that they do not have to be vicious and cruel to be successful, or to change themselves to fit in this dunya.

Our goals should be raising children that will lead us to Jannah, our goals should be raising children who will make us proud not just through their success in education both in ukhrawi and duniawi but we should also raise children who are kind and good people who stands out and whose names are being mentioned most by the angels above, and whom Allah redha for every move they make.

It is not easy raising a child in this era, but it is not impossible. They say choose your spouse wisely because it will affect your future generation, but I say be the person you want to raise, be the person that you want to guide, be the best person now so that you know how to raise one.

Allah have laid out so many examples of the best mothers like Saidatina Khadijah, like Saidatina Fatimah, learn and seek knowledge and prep ourselves to be good mothers. If we are halfway there, and we are not in the right direction, every day that you are given a chance to live, everyday is a chance to improve on ourselves.

It is never too late, each step is a learning journey.

To the best mothers.

May we know them
May we be them
May we raise them

And to those who are still waiting , your time will come soon if it is not here in dunya, you will get the best reward from Allah for your sabr in akhirah and Allah rewards those who are Sabr.

RUN

Dear Muslimah,

I shared a principal that i hold on to tightly to some of my friends when it comes to someone leaving you for someone else.

That is, if they said they don't need you, they don't love you or they hate you, or they say something that hurt you just to make you feel unwanted,

RUN. RUN FAR FAR AWAY FROM THAT PERSON AND NEVER COME BACK.

They don't appreciate you, don't settle for anything less ladies, you deserve only the best.

Believe me, when you are away from that kind of negativity, positive things will come to you.❤

Dreaming of Dreams

Dear Muslimah,

What is it that you dream of becoming?

When we were young, our teachers gave us examples of a perfect job, it could be a policeman, a pilot, a teacher, a doctor etc. And we take it as it is, because we were young and we were like sponges that absorbed anything that was being displayed.

But as we grew older, most of us,our dreams changes

My family is really talented in music. My Pak Andak for example, he is a true musician who can play anything, but his favourite of all the instrument is the trumpet, and he practiced day and night to perfect the melody, to fit it into the music scores that he composed. He was also a film student for many years with my other uncle who is currently a wiriter/producer for a few shows on Astro

My Pak Andak gave up his passion for music and went into filming and became assistant producers for a few dramas in Malaysia and he wrote a few scripts. But living in other country is tough for him but he never gives up.

My other uncles they were musicians too, they went to music schools with so many musicians known as legends this days and when I listened to all their stories and looked at the pictures they showed me, I've always wonder why aren't they getting any recognition?

On top of that my aunts and my mum used to go for drama classes and they act and attend singing lessons and believe it or not some of the actress veteran knows them personally. Still I was wondering why aren't they getting recognition. It was their dreams and passion and they have invested a lot of money in it thinking that it will be a career for them. But it didn't happen.

When my grandfather passed away, all of them changed their paths. Theybecame serious in their job, they took jobs that secured their everyday meal, my Pak Andak became a navy officer, my Uncle Tony became a sailor who is so so so good with his art and craft, he draws really well and sews leather , (creating something from nothing)

My aunt became a businesswoman, my mum, she just worked hard everywhere just to support the family. Life happened. And their dreams change. They worked hard for their dreams but Allah have better plans,none of them expected the drastic change of paths but Allah knows best. However, they have never regretted the chances that they have taken, because it was part of their life and even it was what they have always wanted, Allah knew that they deserve much more than that.

As I grew up, I have always dream of becoming a singer, actress, and emcee. I practice with the best, I had vocal coach from Hanafi Warren, I had drama lessons, I had everything I ever wanted to achieve that dream.

And things didn't work out as I leave my dreams once I became a wife and a mum. 
and I thought there goes my life. But being a mum is an unknown potential that was waiting to emerge from me, and I'm kind of good at it, But I felt something was missing which was the crave for a passion and a dream

Then one day, as I was doing dishes, Allah brought back an old memory during secondary school days. I was being bullied for a few years, and one day, I got locked up during recess by some bullies in a cubicle with my bags in it during recess time. I only had a bread that mum packed for me.

I ate it in the toilet and cry. While crying and being all emotional , I decided to do the karangan assignment given to me by my malay teacher to distract myself. I loveee karangan. So I finished up the assignment and fast forward to 2 days later, I was being awarded for the best karangan among the level. Yes that was the most epic karangan that I have ever done in my entire life.

And that was when I realised, Allah was trying to talk to me in pushing me into a different direction, and that was "writing."

Years later, I came to realise that most of my followers both on fb and Ig are those like me too,you girls love books and reading don't you? hehe. My writings and postings brought me to where I am now. Alhamdulillah. And my limited "Dear Muslimah" book will launch this Saturday through personal Standby Tissue session. Alhamdulillah..:")

I have finally decided to run through my diaries and notebooks early this morning and found so many unpublish works that I have done in the past, the dream is to publish all those works, and hopefully InsyaAllah directing the readers to the right path, influencing them and benefitting them through my writings,

What I'm trying to say is that some dreams don't work out even when you have put tears and sweats in it. Not because you don't work hard on it but at times when life happens, Allah puts you into a situation that redirect your route. He gave you the "other key". He gave you the key of a bridge so that you can be the tool of a bigger purpose. We are not serving just the dunya, we are serving the dunya for akhirah, and He wants the best for you. He wants you to reach Jannah

No matter what your dreams are, the most important thing to do is to never be afraid of failing, it is not the failures or disappointments that matters, it is how you get up and fight back.

I know it is cliché to say this and maybe you have heard this so many times but ALWAYS DO EVERYTHING FOR ALLAH, see the bigger purpose, be the one that torches the light within the darkness, be the one that on one hand holds on to the rope of Allah and on the other hand holding on to others so that they do not fall into the pit trap of the nafs and sins.
Have dreams that can serve this ummah well, have dreams to help others reach Allah because,

at the end of it all, our dreams are all the same, our dream is to gaze at Allah and Him looking at us with the biggest love and mercy and tells us that we did it, we survived the trials to be with Him and we deserve the best treatment in akhirah. Don't you want that?

So Dear Muslimah, set your intentions right and work hard on this dream, Bismillah we can do this❤️

Picture Not So Perfect

Dear Muslimah,

You may not be as pretty as the girls on social medias, you may not meet to the expectations of what the society wants you to be

But you are perfect the way you are, you are enough for you.

You are beautiful for you.

Anyone can have a good body and a pretty face , but be the rare ones who has a good heart and a kind soul.

Love Yourself

Dear Muslimah,

Accepting your flaws, is accepting yourself.

Your true self, beneath all of that makeup, all of that serums or products that you are using, you need to love yourself the way you are.

Because if you don't love all of your flaws, how do you expect others to love the way you are.

Self care, and appreciating the way you are, is loving yourself. And this is important.

It is a sign of feeling grateful towards little things that you have.

And you will stop comparing yourself with everyone else or what people say about you.

Wear your flaws like a badge. If you want to work on improving your flaws, then do it not for anyone else, do it for you.

So here i am coming clean. I am kind of on a big size, i have scars on my face. I have a mix combination of skin. I love me. And im working on my flaws because of me.

It's alright not to be okay ❤

Healing

Dear Muslimah,

Take one step at a time, atleast now you are moving forward, but just taking it at your own pace.

Be gentle to your wounds. It's okay.

One step at a time dear muslimah,one step at a time.

Embrace this moment, you're a warrior who battle silent wars and no one knows it but you, and no one knows the pain that is within you except Allah.

So take the time you need to heal, but move forward because you have a mission, a mission to grow from the pain, to be better, wiser, and stronger.

You can do this.

May Allah heal you. ❤

Moving On

Dear Muslimah,

It's okay to take your time to move on, It's okay to cry to let your emotions out.
No one knows your heart, not even you. Only Allah knows what is the condition of your heart.

Everytime you are crying, you are expressing all your hurt and pain in a physical way, your tears are not signs of your weakness, it is a sign that you are strong enough to feel the pain.

Dealing with such pain and hurt, no one understands, and everyone keeps telling you to stop crying, just because they thought that it was the right thing to say. You stopped crying abruptly not because you are done with the pain, it's because you wanted to toughen up, you wanted to hide the pain so that no one will think that you are weak.

No my dear muslimah, let it out. Let this few weeks, be the weeks that you let your heart out to your Creator, to cry and complain to Him. Every conversation, every tears, let it be that He knows. Allah is indeed the one that knows everything about us, but by telling him, you are giving in to Allah, the bestfriend that never leaves, the one that loves you so deeply, and Oh how He heals.

It is okay to take time to heal, to not be over it as soon as anyone else because this are feelings, this is a heart, the king of all organs,this needs fixing. Crying is good to flush out all the negativity, crying for a few days or weeks to be stronger than before.

And this phase will pass, you will eventually forget how this will feel like. For the things or the people you have lost this year, Allah will give you something you've never imagined having.

While you are in the process of healing, you will learn to appreciate what Allah have given you. You will talk to Him every single day and you will thank Him for everything, because you know how it is like not being appreciated, you will be even more kind with yourself and you will start to appreciate the things you do for yourself. You will care for yourself even more

You will then learn the art of letting go, and you will learn the art of holding on. Letting go seems like a coward thing to do ,but you have hold on for too long that your grip was stuck on a rope that was already let loose on the other side. No one on the other side of the rope is holding on to the rope that you fight for,that person has already left you, they didn't want to fight for you anymore, And if you were to pull hard you will fall, so let go my dear, you will be free from this pain.

Take it from me, as my heart is still broken from the recent news I've received, take it from me, from the heart that is broken yet not fix, take it from me from the one that gives in to Allah and letting Him fix slowly but surely, take it from me who keeps moving forward while Allah is fixing the heart that has been shattered.

Trust me, I know how it feels to be broken, but Allah knows you and me better, so let Him be, let Him be the one to fix you, all you need to do is to remember Him and He will remember you.

Don't Lose This

Dear Muslimah,

No matter at what age u are now, always re learn and keep improving your solat.

When you are fixing your solat, you are actually fixing your life.

When you are fixing your life, you are also fixing your connections with Allah.

And you will feel the difference, you will feel the contentment, the inner peace and the happiness that you have been searching for all this while.

If you have not started, or you have forgotten how to, it's okay, start now, it's alright as long as death is not upon you yet it is never too late.

Solat sebelum disolatkan.

I have been writing essays of posts and you girls have spared your time to read it all .

This is my gift to you, a reminder as a gift.

Promise me will you? Don't lose your solat. ❤